White Hot Weekend Action!

The good news is, if you're here in Seattle, I've got two fabulous recommendations for entertainment this long weekend.

The bad news is, they're both on the same night.

You've heard me blather about the mighty Bloodhag before, but their gig tomorrow night at the Funhouse (with Captured! By Robots) promises to be extra-super-special. The 'Hag's unstoppable Edu-core sound have won 'em a deal with Alternative Tentacles, the internationally-known record label run by the legendary Jello Biafra. And tomorrow's gig also serves as the release party for their sure-to-be mindroasting new CD, Hell Bent for Letters. Soon the world will be jumping on the Hagwagon, so get out and see these four bespectacled noise gods in a great, tiny, sweaty place before they're playing arenas and eating caviar from the navels of Cimmerian Slave Women at Clive Davis's place.

Then again, you could take in an evening of the blues, courtesy of Steven Seagal. Yes, the star of Under Siege, The Glimmer Man, and Half Past Dead brings his blues band to the Tractor Tavern tomorrow night. The high-kicking (OK, maybe not so much nowadays) action fixture sings more consistently than fellow R&B lover/tough guy Bruce Willis (take a listen here). But I don't figure BB King is sweating over the competition just yet.

My advice: catch Bloodhag, than jet over to the Tractor Tavern after the 'Hag's set. Wait outside the Tractor until Seagal finishes performing, then confront him after the show with the revelation that you could easily best his doughy ass with your Monkey Fist Kung Fu. Seagal loves it when people do that—trust me.

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